Round and Round

Not Done YetI enjoy a good amusement park ride as much as the next person but I have to be honest and tell you I am not enjoying the merry-go-round I have been on for so long!  I guess in some ways it is more like a roller coaster ride but somehow the merry-go-round analogy seems more appropriate because I often feel like I am just moving in a circle, over and over again.

I was crushed to find I was up 3.6 lbs. on Friday.  This circular cycle of gaining and losing the same 5 lbs. over and over is exhausting.  I am feeling like I am at my wit’s end and the frustration is overwhelming at times.

Weight 10.3.14

After talking to my Weight Watchers leader and because of our meeting topic a few weeks ago, Weight Watchers Power Foods for the Win, I made the decision to try the Simple Start plan again.  While I am still scared of not counting points, I do believe that I need to change-up my food in order to better fuel my body.  I also know that I really need to develop a pattern of eating quality meals rather than snacking all day long.  Sometimes Michael will ask me what I ate for dinner and all I can do is list off all of the snacks I had that have the collective Points Plus® value of a meal.

The truth is, even though I have lost a tremendous amount of weight, I have not gotten rid of all of my emotional issues surrounding food.  I am fighting daily internal battles that even those closest to me are not privy to.  Some days, I feel like I spend the day trying to talk myself off the ledge so to speak to keep from losing control and eating things I know I shouldn’t.

It is painful to admit that my years of abusing food have created this daily battle I fight but I cannot change the past.  All I can do is keep working to handle the present.  I will continue to talk to myself throughout the day and remind myself that I know what is best for me and that I DO have the strength to make wise decisions where food is concerned.

Struggle Today

Comments

  1. Ruth Chickini says:

    Kassie. I was doing that same thing. I finally went on simple start and have lost weight almost every week. Do try it. I feel I eat better and make better, healthier choices.

    Good luck and thank you for sharing your journey. Ruthie.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. You are a strong woman, Kassie. You are stronger than the draw to food. You have come so far and I know you will go farther still. Stay the course, keep making healthy decisions and I know you’ll get there.

  3. Jimmy Bohanon says:

    Your doing great don’t be so hard on yourself just enjoy what you have today.and remember you didn’t gain the weight in a week or a month but over 15 yrs.so relax and pat yourself on the back and thank god for what you have accomplished and all the people you have encouraged to continue there jorney! So be proud and know you are loved.
    Dad

    • THANK YOU for always being there to support me! NONE of what I have accomplished would have been possible without your love and support! I love you very much!

  4. I am back on program after gaining 10 pounds over the summer. You can and will get back on program… it is a constant struggle but we can beat it. You did it before and can do it again… Thank you for your blog and encouragement to others….

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